Sun Shining Through Clouds On My Window
Spilling randomness blog one: The Café
It was unseasonably cold for it to be a March Tuesday. The strong freezing winds whistled through my ears like a trumpet’s metallic tone. Thankfully I had a woolen cap in my bag pack. Probably last night’s snowfall is to be blamed. But not completely, the snow gave way to Levi’s denim blue-colored sky, which I absolutely love because it brings sunshine. Probably the only thing that gives the appropriate sweetness to the spice of this unnaturally fall-ish cold spring.
Well, I am in this mismatched café right now, writing, entertaining all sorts of thoughts and clearly procrastinating my research work. However, this is what I feel to do right now hence I promise myself not to feel guilty about it later.
Anyways coming to the sunshine story. I was fifty minutes into my yoga practice and it was finally time for the shav asana. So, I lay down closing my eyes and I could feel the red color in my eyelids (you know the feeling when you close your eyes facing a bright object and everything turns sort of red color suddenly). I could feel the warmth of the bright sun on my cold yoga mat. I opened my eyes and saw a glare on my living room window. And just like that, I went down memory lane. The old film reel stopped at a vintage frame when I was 14 or so, sitting on my porch and drinking hot chocolate. And I felt how calm I was then. Away from the current adulthood existential crises. If I could meet that girl right now, I would find her confident, fearless, and grounded in her roots. And right when I thought that, it occurred to me how hard I have been on myself. I weighed my actions on a scale that was set as per society’s standards. All this while, I guess, I was trying to become this ideal version of myself. This took me so far from who I was that it somehow looked like I had lost some part of me. At that moment I opened my eyes, took a sigh, and promised myself to keep remembering that girl every now and then because if she happens to meet me someday, I know for sure that she will not like this twenty-five-year-old someone. With this note, I started my day and took one step closer to being grounded again.
Cut to having sunny-side-up eggs, dressing up nice, and walking almost twenty mins in the harsh cold, here am I in the café, trying to finish this matcha latte. I guess it’s almost time to start with my research work. Write to you soon! Until then, happy tuesday and take it one day at a time.
